Back in June I was asked a question: “Alysa, would you squad lead expedition in January?” and after much debating, back and forth, weighing all the pros and cons I finally derived at my yes.
This hasn’t been an easy yes for me even though I have wanted to squad lead again. Part of the reason why it was hard was because I didn’t want to leave the community around me, the people I have invested in and for the first time, in a while, have felt accepted for me. These are people that I can bring everything to the table and they will fight, love, encourage, challenge, and just be with me. I didn’t and in all honesty still don’t want to leave these people.
The other part of why its been hard is because I was struggling with choosing other people’s expectations, rather than my own. What I mean by this, is that I thought more about what is expected of me now that I’m 26 years old. Shouldn’t I focus more on career things? Being more goal oriented? Trying to finally settle down and put down roots? All good things to think about and wonder, however, I began to realize that I was rejecting simply what I wanted, and started accepting what the world around me wanted.
I went on a run right before training camp and stopped in the middle of the woods and just listened for a minute, Alysa, what do you want? Is what I heard. Who’s dreams are you going to follow? Throughout most of training camp I wrestled with these questions, figuring out what I truly wanted. My friend Zach gave me a word in the middle of training camp saying “It’s okay to be selfish…” For me, I hate being selfish, but, I knew that he was right and it was what I needed to hear to give myself permission to just simply choose what I wanted.
I remember writing down in my journal months prior to being asked to squad lead the reasons why I would do it again. With that here is the why:
- To see people walk out in more freedom, hope and healing in their identity in Christ.
- To help people live with vision for their lives and help them walk in confidence in their gifting and abilities.
- To help others walk in greater intimacy with the Lord
- To impart the things that the Lord has given me to others, and to step into further confidence with the influence He has given me.
- To grow in greater dependency on the Lord for direction in how to lead myself and those around me.
- To be challenged
- To see people set free from bondage of their past
- To see those “aha” moments when things click in people and the excitement that occurs from that
- To create safe spaces for people to just be themselves and know that is enough and what is needed.
- To invest and impact another generation of World Racers
- To truly love on people unconditionally and help them accept that for themselves.
- To empower people
- To break the boundaries we have put on community and transform it.
- To meet people in the trenches in their own personal journey.
The list is much longer, but I believe you get the picture. During training camp even, I got to see people start stepping into these spaces with people, the Lord and even with me. I got to see 31 people start to become a family, learning what it looks like to fight for each other, come alongside and enrich each others lives. I got to see the start of their journey that there is so much more to this life than we could possibly imagine and it all stems from each of our yes.
But, the greater why is because I’ve chosen to live a life that is far richer than what I could possibly dreamed of. To have faith that welcomes mystery into my life where I find the courage to believe in what I cannot see and the strength then to let go of my fear of uncertainty. For surely I am one of the lucky ones of my generation; blessed to battle. For who else gets to love with such verve? To look into the unkown, serene, because long ago I decided the fog and bitter nights with a brimming cup were far better than armchairs and emptiness. Truly I cannot imagine any other life than the one I am living, right here, right now.
I would love for you to join me in this journey, to follow along, pray, and financially support. I will be sending out monthly newsletters of my time on the field and you can sign up here to receive those newsletters and prayer requests (besides receiving blog updates). I am looking for people who want to partner with me financially too, if you consider donating for my time on the field you can do so here, my goal is $8500 and want to fundraise at least half of that before heading out in January.
Thank you for coming alongside me as we embark on this journey together, I’m excited to see what the Lord has ahead for you and for me!
